Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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