My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
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