woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I enjoy the company of your penis
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
