When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
In America we eat man semen.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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