It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
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