some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
