Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
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If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
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Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
And my parents said I crawled through the house
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
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