It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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