i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
