Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
She announced her abortion via fbk
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
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