just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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