I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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