I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize