No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
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