Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
