I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
