I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
