I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize