i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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