there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Text me some of your sweat
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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