Ambien. No doubt about it.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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