no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize