names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
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