Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
