Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
