I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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