im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
