Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize