Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
