They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
as a side note pls kill me
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
