I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
