burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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