And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
