You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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