that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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