He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
