I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Randomize
