I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Randomize
