she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
