i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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