walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
