when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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