i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
