I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
