Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
