new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
and she was petting her beer can
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
