The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize