Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
