...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
