the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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