Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize