Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
