Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
