her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
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