Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Randomize
