And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
