It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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