You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
