where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
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