I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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