You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize
